I Met Myself Again

I wrote this blog post four years ago when I first started this website. I was terrified of expressing my thoughts and inner world. And boy oh boy has so much changed. I took everything I learned here and watched my life fall apart and come together again multiple times because I not only chose to meet myself over and over again, but I chose to value alignment over chemistry and connection. So take this post as a reminder that you are an ever evolving person and it’s ohkay to meet yourself as many times as you need to and to introduce yourself to others as many times as you need to. Letting others know where you are mentally, physically, and spiritually is crucial to growth because that’s how you send off a signal of alignment. That’s also how you claim who you are in the current moment. The Universe demands that you claim who you are so that you can attract people, places, and things that are in alignment with the version of yourself you claim to be. Re-introducing yourself to yourself and others is a required step of personal evolution. If you’re not re-introducing yourself to yourself and others, are you truly allowing deep transformation in your life? Maybe not, but hey, change is hard so I get it.

Hold space for your change, and don’t forget to document your journey so you can go back every once in a while and allow the nostalgia fill your heart with gratitude as you celebrate your growth. As I read this passage I can’t help but feel grateful for the Imani that didn’t know what the hell she was doing but showed up anyways to let the world know she was having the first of many existential crisis’s LMAO

OG POST:

A few weeks ago I met myself again. Up until that day I never took the time to figure out who I was. I knew my favorite colors, favorite foods, and small pet peeves but I never took the time to truly know myself on a deeper level. Why haven’t I done this before? When presented with the opportunity to face myself in the mirror I was terrified. Why was I so scared to get to know myself? I know that I am not a bad person, so why am I so afraid? Vulnerability. I realized at that very moment that I wasn’t scared to get to know myself, I was scared of being vulnerable with myself. To open myself up and really face the music brought up every past memory of rejection. That raised the question, why did I put so much of myself into other people and expect them to understand me when I had no understanding of myself? How did I not realize that the safest place for myself is within myself? How could I have been so foolish all these years? It didn’t help that I had such high expectations for others close to me to open themselves up and tell me every piece and bit of themselves when in reality I couldn’t reciprocate that myself. There’s a line in the song Memo Blue by Alina Baraz that says, “ I can only meet you as deep as you have met yourself. I can only reach you from where you are.” As I pushed those statements outward to others I now realize how wrong I was to not only expect such depth from others that I hadn’t even achieved myself but to almost force people to go that deep with me when they haven’t even had the time nor space to go that deep within themselves. Forcing people into “healing” is never ohkay and since it was so forced it wasn’t even healing. It was projection. Projection of where I lack. I put myself on such a high pedestal because I know I am a very self aware person and I always want to help people improve themselves and be better. I learned very quickly to not get blinded by my own light. I am here to help others but I won’t be able to do that if I can’t even properly light the path.

I hope that after reading this you get inspired to take a little time to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Since re-introducing myself to me I’ve gained a level of understanding of myself I’ve never had before. The clarity and sense of self security is outstanding. It’s freeing. I hope that everyone feels like this at least once in their lives as it is so life changing and can lead to a world of change in your favor. Remember that no one will ever understand you the way you do. Everything is always within.